About three years ago, my monthly period arrived on time, but did not leave. The bleeding kept going for a few months. It was mild, yet scary. My gynecologist told me that there was no reason for concern and that I had just entered perimenopause.

After some inquiries, I found a great Chinese doctor who specializes in women’s health and initiated weekly sessions with her. She recommended that I read the book Menopause Yoga, and so I did.

As a firm believer in the power of our bodies to heal themselves with the support of natural remedies, I had never thought I would take hormones. But Menopause Yoga argued that if I wanted to remain healthy and robust through menopause, I needed to get this external help.

I decided to give it a try.

This initiated a long, bumpy road of searching for the right professional and the right therapy, which entailed crazy migraines, sleepless nights, and much discomfort.

Eventually, I found an OB-GYN I trusted, and I started taking estrogen pills every night. My constant menstrual bleeding hasn’t stopped, but my migraines did, and that was enough for me to continue.

At one point, I met a holistic therapist who told me that taking estrogen was the reason why I was continuously bleeding. I was scared that my migraines would come back, so I did nothing about it.

Two weeks ago, I felt a strong calling to stop the estrogen. Without consulting anyone or seeking support, I decided to “just do it”.

The bleeding stopped right away, and that made me feel empowered and strong, like I was rehabbing from smoking or sugar.

A week later, my body lost its equilibrium. I experienced hot flashes (so that’s what everyone was talking about? Gosh!), followed by cold flashes. I took my socks off and then put them on at a dazzling pace. It felt like I was losing my mind.

I tried to breathe in and relax whenever the hot flashes came, but the waves of sweat still washed me over. Then, on top of it, or because of it, I caught a cold, and a migraine was not far behind.

My holistic therapist recommended a clean version of progesterone to rebalance the estrogen level. Some of my friends confirmed that it had helped them with hot flashes and sleep, so I started with a minimal dose. 

Then I woke up feeling awful, and the worst thing was – I didn’t know if it was because of my cold, stopping the estrogen, or starting the progesterone. I felt that I had completely lost control over my body, and I despaired.

Then I stopped, and I started paying attention to my thoughts:

“Why were you so stupid to take this estrogen? You shouldn’t have started it in the first place.”

“Why did you just stop without getting the proper support? Why do you have to be so impulsive, reckless, and irresponsible just before your birthday trip, and in such a critical time of your career?”

But then I also noticed some underlying thoughts that I hadn’t even realized I had. 

“You made mistakes in taking care of your body, and now your body will never be fine.”

“Your body is incapable of restoring balance and getting healthy.” 

“You will always stay in this state of imbalance and suffer from health issues because of your mistakes.”

I was shocked to discover that I was actually thinking this way. I was honestly not aware that I had so little trust in my body’s ability to heal and restore balance! 

Once I identified these underlying thoughts, I could apply the practice I offer my clients for dealing with negative thoughts.

First, I made these thoughts into a concrete possibility – “yes, it might be that I f*cked up my body, and I will never be the same. I might have made myself dependent on estrogen intake. I might have to suffer from hot and cold flashes for the rest of my life. I might never feel healthy and balanced ever again.” 

Okay, now that I put it like that, it seemed ridiculous, but I could only witness it when I confronted my underlying thoughts and made them a possible reality. 

Then I could also state the other possible options – “my body will find its way to restore balance with my new health regime, and it will be much better. Even if I made mistakes along the way, my body will show me the way. I will continue to listen to it, follow its guidance, and strive to achieve optimal health. It might take longer than I want, but it might happen much sooner than I expect.”

With my new sense of trust in myself, in my body, in my choices, in my therapist, I already felt much better, and my recovery started. 

Gemini season is the time to reflect on our thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves. 

This week, look for your underlying negative thoughts, those you don’t even know you have, that are the foundation of the ones you are so familiar with. What are they telling you? What is the reality that they portray? Can you look at this reality as a real option or possibility? Then, can you offer other alternatives that might be more reasonable and supportive? 

If you want to learn more about how to deal with your negative thoughts, join my free masterclass, The 4 Hidden Saboteurs Destroying Your Dream Life (And the Planetary Balance Method That Neutralizes Them). Details below. 

Wishing you a wonderful week,

With love,

Yael