If you experienced some communication and technology challenges in the past week, it is because we entered the pre shadow phase of Mercury retrograde. The actual retrograde will start on August 23 and will last till September 15. We are also still going through Venus retrograde which will last until September 3.

Sun in Leo is asking us to find joy and have fun while we go through these challenges. Last week I wrote that when we manage to find joy amid our hardship, we make the world a better place. After I published it, I realized that I did not emphasize enough that I do not advocate repression for the sake of joy.

I strongly believe that for our wellbeing, we must be connected with our true, honest experience. That includes our negative emotions, and even our negative thoughts. We want to feel our feelings to release them. We want to notice our negative thoughts, so that we can work with them. We want to acknowledge our challenges. We do not want to just say we are happy and joyful because we think we should. When we pretend to be joyful while sweeping our negativity and challenges under the rug, we create more harm than benefit.

In 2005 I went through a major depression that kept me in bed for a few months. This depression lasted five more years until it reached a peak and was completely released. The reason for my depression was that for many years prior to that, I had not allowed myself to be honest. I knew that life was short, and I did not want to waste my time on anything that was not fun. My depression took me by surprise and forced me to deal with all the heaviness I had run away from.

Since then, I’ve been making sure to never run away again. On the contrary. When I have nightmares, I go to sleep and say, “bring it on!” I want to confront my subconscious demons. Whenever I feel sadness or pain, I go deep into the feelings and allow them to manifest in me.

I’ve been feeling very healthy and balanced with my practices, as well as real and authentic. Recently, however, I started feeling that because I tend to go so deep and heavy, I sometimes forget to acknowledge the pleasant and wonderful aspects of my life. I tend to give more weight to things that create pain and frustration. 

The researchers Paul Rozin and Edward Poyzman, coined the term negativity bias, which refers to their conclusion that we give more weight in our minds to negative information than to positive information. According to this scientific theory, negative bias is rooted in our evolution since in the past, negative information was more crucial to our survival.

We want to feel our negative emotions. We want to notice our negative thoughts. But we do not want to be ruled by negativity. In my experience, when we allow ourselves to feel negative emotions, positive emotions come more naturally. On the other hand, when it comes to thinking, if we do not train ourselves to balance our thoughts, we might get stuck with negativity.

I started noticing that introducing more gratitude and positivity into my mind, while staying grounded with my honest experience, brings me to a healthier balance.

I do not need to deny my suffering to enjoy my blessings. I can do both!

When it comes to negative thoughts, we want to notice them while remembering that they do not represent an absolute truth, but rather an option, an alternative, or a worst-case scenario. There are always more options, alternatives, truths, and possibilities. We need to open ourselves and see where we can create a space in our mind for more positive options, without negating, eliminating, ignoring, repressing, or fighting our negative thoughts.

Under the influence of Venus retrograde, I hear many people saying that they don’t believe they will ever find love. You might never find love. You might never be successful as you want. You might never have your dream house, your dream job, or your dream child. But there are other possibilities. There is always a chance that you will. There is even a chance that reality will exceed your wildest dreams. It happened to me, why can’t it happen to you?

Running away from pain to live in joy does not work. To live in true joy, we need to be fully engaged with our life experience.

Joy can come from paying more attention and enjoying our senses. When we eat, for example, we can eat slowly and mindfully and savor the flavors as we chew. We can feel how the sunrays, the fertile soil and the rain that made our food nourish us physically and energetically. We can bring it all in with delight. We can notice and enjoy the comfort of our driver’s seat or our living room couch.

The truth is, that with all the horrors happening in the world, we are very privileged to be living in this time. We have so much peace, comfort, advancement, and opportunities that allow us to pursue our dreams and live for our happiness like no generation before us could. It does not mean that we do not want to continue fighting for more peace, equality, and justice. On the contrary, this understanding gives us strength to continue the evolutionary process instead of sinking into depression about our situation.

August 8 is considered by many an auspicious day. It is called the Lions Gate and is believed to be a window, or portal, into enhanced awareness, as well as a great time to set intention and increase the probability of their manifestation. I do not know if this is true or not. I live like every day is a Lions gate. But if it brings us more joy, why not celebrate this day, and believe in its potency?

Practical advice for this week:

1. When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, mark it as a possibility. Then introduce other possibilities that are more desirable for you. They say that the negativity bias works in one to four ratio, so every negative thought needs four positive probabilities to balance it.
2. Choose one activity that you do daily and deliberately enjoy it. Whether it is eating, driving your car, taking a walk, or sitting at your work desk. Pay attention to the pleasant touch, sights, smells, tastes, and sounds around you.
3. Set up your intentions and goals for this coming year. You can journal about them, meditate on them, visualize them, and most importantly, take steps to obtain them.
4. Meditate during the Lions Gate.