In case you did not already know, I am a Gemini.

Being a Gemini is what got me hooked on Astrology in the first place. Since I was a child, whenever I met someone and felt an immediate friendly connection, I would ask for their birthday. 99% of the times, they were Geminis.

The reason why Geminis connect so well with one another is that no one in the world can understand the level of busyness going on in our heads.

One of the most influential Geminis in my life is my dear teacher, Debra Silverman. She articulates complex spiritual concepts in such a coherent way, like no one else does. Even though she is super famous, she is warm, friendly, and playful with anyone she meets. She has a childlike charm and the wisdom of an old sage. Her curiosity and fascination are contagious.

This week she will celebrate her birthday. Happy birthday Debra!

Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet responsible for the way we think and the way we communicate.

Mindfulness practices are focused on turning on our observer and watching our thoughts. The practice of meditation is not aimed to quiet the mind so much as it is about watching the mind.

One mistake we make is to think that our thoughts should be what we want them to be: wise, deep, and beautiful. When a “negative” thought sneaks in, we immediately reject it. “No, no, no, I do not want to think that.”

We don’t want to think about people who hurt us. We do not want to think about what frightens us. We do not want to think of wanting to hurt others. We do not want to think about things that are against the conventional norms. But the truth is we all do.

“Most of us, consciously or unconsciously, would like meditation to be a chill-out session where we don’t have to relate to unpleasantness. Actually, a lot of people have the misunderstanding that this is what meditation is about. They believe meditation includes everything except that which feels bad. And if something does feel bad, you’re supposed to label it “thinking” and shove it away or hit it on the head with a mallet.”

~Pema Chodron

We can change our thought processes in the long run, if we work on our psychological patterns and create new neurological connections in our brain. But to know what we need to work on, we must acknowledge our true, honest thoughts!

In the short term, we do not choose our thoughts. All we can do is watch them and embrace them, repulsive as they might be.

The spiritual way of life is not about repression. It is about embracing every part of our being with compassion and love, including the dirtiest, darkest part of our minds.

Once I attended a talk by the renowned teacher and author, Jack Kornfield. He said that if we could hear everyone else’s thoughts, at first, we would all be disgusted by one another. But then, we would see that we all had awful thoughts, that it was not just us. We could breathe a sigh of relief.

Thoughts are somewhat like dreams. In our dreams there is no right and wrong. In our dreams, we can have sex with someone, and it would just mean that we want to be more connected with this person. We might kill someone in a dream, and it would just mean that we must end something that this person represents to us.

Dreams are visual manifestations of subconscious thoughts. When we meditate, and even when we don’t, subconscious thoughts may arise, and they might be terrifying. When we escape these thoughts and repress them, we miss the chance of processing something that is important for our wellbeing.

Why do you think so many spiritual gurus are accused of sexual harassment? These so-called gurus repress and deny their dark, heavy thoughts and emotions. Such thoughts and emotions do not align with the pure image they want to portray, or who they believe themselves to be.

But these repressed thoughts and emotions have to come out somehow. When they are not properly processed, they might come out in the nastiest ways.

Being healthy means accepting who we are just the way we are. Even our darkest thoughts are a part of the divine creation that we all are.

On a meditation retreat in Spirit Rock in 2012, I learned a technique called RAIN. Whenever a thought, a sensation or an emotion arise we Recognize it. Accept it. Investigate it. Not-identify with it.

It took me a long time to get the non-identification part. The teachers said that we should look at our thoughts as if they were not ours, as if they wandered into our heads from the person who sat next to us.

“But my thoughts are mine!”, I protested in my head. “They are not random. There is a reason why I think what I think.”

Today I understand that non-identification refers to recognizing that the mind is just one component of our being, just like Mercury is one planet in the solar system. There is more to us than our thoughts. We are not just our thoughts.

In my upcoming book Planetary Balance, I explain how each of the planets relate to one component of our being and how to bring the planet’s energy to a healthy balance.

This Gemini season week, ask yourself:

• How often do I catch myself thinking things I do not want to think?
• What do I do when it happens? Do I repress these thoughts, or do I work with them?
• Tell me how it goes!

The only way out of negative thought processes, is to go through them.