My parents were both Cancers. With my mom, you could have guessed it right away. People from our neighborhood would come to our house and tell her all about their hardships. She would invite them in, offer a cup of tea, and listen attentively, even though she was in the middle of making dinner, doing laundry, and ironing my father’s shirts.

Her choice to be a mother and an artist made her financially dependent on my father. She felt obliged to take care of everyone to justify her dependency, and for that, she always felt like a victim.

From the outside, my father seemed nothing like a Cancer. He was a successful banker who cared little about his family. He did what he wanted, including having a second relationship with a woman he truly loved outside his marriage. Only when I matured enough to forgive him and got to know him better could I see how deeply connected he was to the hardships of the human condition.

As a child, I vowed that I would never be as weak as my mother was and that I would never be financially dependent on anyone. This is why I chose to study accounting and economics.

Unconsciously, I refused to be managed by emotions and empathy. I made sure always to emanate immense confidence and strength, to walk tall and proud, and never to truly give my heart to anyone. 

This was why I attracted people who did not seek emotional engagement or were not interested in me, and I constantly had my heart broken.

The first night I spent with my husband, he told me that I was very strong and that he was going to make me soft.

In one instance, I saw my life flash before my eyes – everything that had led me to be so strong and had taken me away from softness. The fact that this man knew so deeply and acutely what I needed without me even realizing it, after only a few days of acquaintance, was the sign that he was the soulmate I’d been looking for. 

Throughout eleven years with my husband and eight years of mothering my son, I’ve learned how to make softness my strength. 

Softness means letting yourself feel grumpy, upset, frustrated, sad, or overwhelmed without shame or guilt. 

Today, I sat by the waterfall and felt sadness for the fight I just had with my husband, and for entering menopause and the physical discomfort involved. I don’t often connect with the pain and sorrow of my changing body. I am mostly busy being the best mother, partner, astrologer, teacher, writer, friend, and host. I am committed to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. But today, even though I had initially tried to convince myself to enjoy my weekly date with nature, I needed to be soft, allow myself to feel lousy, and cry.

Softness means not being guarded and not trying to assume an authoritative, strong, or independent position. It also does not mean being pleasing, sweet, and kind. It means being just you, open, real, and ready to let people in, while knowing that you might get hurt.

When you are guarded, you don’t allow people to enter your life. The real strength lies in being open and soft and admitting you are afraid of getting hurt. 

Trying always to be strong is exhausting – we all need to lean on others sometimes.

My readiness to be financially dependent on my husband allowed me to build my new astrology business and write my book. It took me time to learn how to remove my guilt and enjoy the blessings of my husband’s support as a gift provided to me by him and the universe. Now I hope to be able to support him and allow him to fulfill his dreams. 

When you stop pretending to be strong, you might discover your true strength. When you let others in and you allow yourself to receive their support, your softness becomes your strength. You are no longer afraid to get hurt because you know you can handle it. You are not afraid to be dependent on others because you make sure to pass on the kindness and support you receive to others. 

During this Cancer season week, balance your Moon energy by becoming softer and stronger. Do you need to remove your armor and be less guarded so that you can let people in? Do you need to feel more comfortable being you, without putting so much effort into seeming strong? Do you need to connect with your pain and cry it out, or just feel it? Do you need to allow yourself to be grumpy for a few hours? Who can you lean on this week, and feel the strength that you gain by leaning? Who can you support this week, and feel empowered by this support? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts, 

Have a wonderful week,

With love,

Yael