If you have been reading me for some time, you know that I do not need an excuse to write about relationships. This is one of my favorite topics. But there is no better excuse to write about relationships than Libra season. Especially when sun, Mercury and Mars are all going to be in Libra this week.

Libra is THE sign of romantic relationships. People with strong Libra seek union with another person. They want to be in tandem with another. They hate eating alone, traveling alone, or being alone. They always prefer to have company.

The low road of Libra is to believe that you need a relationship to be happy. You are so afraid to lose your partnership that you suppress yourself and lose yourself in your relationship. You might get so codependent that you are afraid to leave, even if it is a bad, abusive, or toxic relationship.

The high road of Libra is to create inner balance, so that you enter a relationship from a place of confidence. You do not NEED a relationship; you WANT it. In your relationships, you feel safe to express yourself freely and authentically, even when it creates conflicts.

Having worked with hundreds of people all over the world, I see too many people who are willing to settle for a bad relationship. There is so much confusion about the nature of good relationships. When emotions and karmatic connections are involved, it is hard to discern whether we are in a good relationship or not.

Is it about fighting? Is it about the other person loving us and showing us affection? Is it about the love we feel for the other person?

Love is a crucial ingredient for a good relationship, but many people who love each other deeply can’t sustain a good relationship. To know if a relationship is good, we need to ask the following questions:

1. Does the relationship empower its partners and help them thrive? Are the individuals in the relationship happier, healthier and in a better state of wellbeing thanks to being in the relationship?

My husband and I fight occasionally. Maybe we fight more than others, maybe we fight less, I don’t really know. What I do know is that we have a good relationship. And how do I know that? Because I see how well we both evolved throughout the almost ten years we’ve been together.

When I was not sure about my professional direction, my husband supported me in studying astrology and starting my own business. Through our marriage and thanks to his incredible support, I have thrived professionally doing what I love.

When my husband was down and stopped exercising, I called him out. I remined him how important his health was for him and for me. I motivated him to find a practice he liked. Getting back to physical activity did not only make him healthier, but also made him happier.

In my previous marriage, my ex and I used to have fun. He was into using lots of drugs and was a bad influence on me. Throughout the time we were together, I was constantly sick. Eventually I got heavily depressed, and he left me. I got out of this relationship at the lowest point of my life. This was obviously a bad relationship.

Today, with my husband by my side, I am healthy and happy. I feel that I can do just about anything, and he feels the same.

2. Do the partners feel that they can speak freely and honestly in the relationship, or do they need to walk on eggshells not to make the other person upset?

A while back, I was in a relationship with a man who used to explode at me on every occasion. Somehow, I was always doing something wrong. If I wanted to have sex, I was too assertive. If I did not want to have sex, I was not loving enough. If I wanted to spend time together, I was too demanding and if I wanted to be alone, I was too selfish.

When he did not yell at me, he was loving and affectionate. We loved each other deeply and I still think he is a wonderful man. He was just not the right man for me. It made me stronger to walk away from him, despite the pain of it. At a certain point I realized that I was so careful about what I said and did around him, that I was not myself anymore.

My friend had a relationship with a man who was not willing to deal with her emotional expressions. Whenever she showed signs of pain or frustration, he would withdraw and tell her that he could not deal with that. She found that she needed to constantly repress her true emotions and wear a big smile on her face, so that they could enjoy their relationship.

Her suppression caused her various illness. She eventually saw that even though they both truly loved each other, she could not be authentic around him. She wanted to be with someone who saw the gift of her emotional connection and expression.

My husband loves it when I share my emotions with him. It makes him feel that I can trust him with my heart.   

Other questions you can ask yourself to identify whether a relationship is good or not:

3. Does the relationship encourage the partners to cultivate strong bonds with friends and family? Or do the partners withdraw from their friendships and family?
4. Do the people in the relationship feel safe and secure in the relationship? Can they trust each other to be loyal and to support them in need?
5. Are the partners engaged in a satisfying sexual connection?
6. Are the partners good with money together? Do they support each other in creating financial comfort and security?
7. Do the partners mostly enjoy their time together? Do other people enjoy being around them?

This week is a great time to evaluate your present and past relationships. Understand what was wrong in the relationships that did not work, what is right in those that work well, or what you want to have in your next relationship.

Our culture does not provide great relationship role models. Most of us did not grow up with parents who had great relationships. We need to talk about it more. We need to teach it to our kids. If you have a good relationship, come forward! Talk about it, write about it, share your experience.

More astrological information this week:

• Sunday, October 1, sun and Mars in Libra, moon Taurus, Venus in Leo.
• Tuesday, October 3, moon enters Gemini.
• Wednesday, October 4, Mercury enters Libra.
• Thursday, October 5, moon enters Cancer.
• Saturday, October 7, moon enters Leo.

Wishing you a wonderful week,

With love,

Yael