Cancer New Moon – How to Work with Loneliness & Create Meaningful Relationships

July 15, 2023

I am writing from my in-law’s house in San Antonio Texas. Soon the whole family will gather for breakfast. Spending time with family is the best thing to do when the sun and the moon cuddle in Cancer.

There are three major astrological events happening this week. On Monday, July 17, there is a New Moon in Cancer. On Saturday, July 22, the sun enters Leo and Venus starts retrograding.

This post will focus on the new moon in Cancer. I will elaborate on sun in Leo and Venus retrograde in the next weekly update.

Cancer is the sign of family. It is telling us that finding harmony within a family is an important part of our evolution.

What is family? It surely does not have to be formed by marriage or blood-relation. I see a family as a tribe of people with established long-term connection. I have some friends who are more family to me than my siblings. But there is also a special significance to our relationships with people we did not chose, like our parents, siblings, in-laws, and our children.

Family dynamic heightens emotional reactions. It pushes our buttons and provokes us, but when it’s healthy, it also promotes a feeling of togetherness, of being a part of something bigger than us, of not being lonely.

I know loneliness too well. Very soon after my mother died, when I was 18, I disconnected from my family and lived like an orphan. When I was 32, I moved from the US to Israel, and spend a few years recovering from depression and two failing marriages.

Most people in Israel have Friday dinners with their families and gather for holiday feasts. During such times, I used to sit alone in my apartment and listen to the rattle of flatware and dishes over people’s laughter and alert conversations at the apartments around me. The pain of isolation was unbearable.

Loneliness is an epidemic in the US and worldwide. Recent research indicates that 52% of Americans report feeling lonely. 47% report that their relationships with others are not meaningful, and 57% report eating all their meals alone.

Loneliness is not just a matter of being alone. It is a feeling of isolation, of not being understood, even when you are with others. The key for resolving loneliness is not just having relationships, but having meaningful relationships. For some of us, this requires work.

According to a publication of the American Psychology Association from 2019 “lack of social connection heightens health risks as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or having alcohol use disorder.” Social isolation is also linked with depression, poor sleep quality, accelerated cognitive decline, impaired immunity, and more.

Israel is a tiny country. The main plus about it is that most people live less than two-hour drive from their parents and childhood friends. In the US, this is usually not the case. People are more easily separated from their original home, family, and friends. Expansiveness and mobility make it harder to keep in touch with people and maintain a feeling of family.

Even though I gradually got back to my family of origin, and I love most of them, my family still challenges me a lot.

I do not believe we should struggle to have good relationships with our family. We should certainly not maintain relationships with family members who are abusive or toxic. But I believe that for our own wellbeing, we need to work with the anger, pain and wounds that are associated with our family relationships.

I had many reasons to hate my father. I had to work hard to forgive him. He needed to do his share of realizing what he did, reaching out to me and asking for forgiveness.

As I advanced with my yoga and Buddhist practices, I understood that hating my father meant hating a part of myself. For years I practiced Metta Bhavana with the aim of making true peace with my father. This is a powerful Buddhist practice that I use whenever I find myself in conflict with someone.

In this practice you wish well for yourself, for someone you love, for someone neutral like the cashier in the bank, and finally you wish well for someone you have challenges with. My wish is ‘may you be happy and peaceful, may you be safe and protected, may you be healthy and strong, and know a deep sense of wellbeing.’ It can be any other wish. The important thing is that you see the person you wish for happy and well in your mind’s eyes.

What I found mostly interesting in this practice is that it showed me how hard it was to wish well for people I was angry with. I did not want them to be well. But by repeating this practice again and again, I was finally able to authentically wish them well.

New moon in Cancer is telling us that we should reach out to each other more. Forgive each other more. We should connect more and make our relationships more meaningful by working on our issues. No one should feel lonely. After all, we are one gigantic family.

Suggestion on how to work with the astrological energies of the week:

  1. Make a list of all the people you love in your family or people who are like family. Send them a text message, an email or a love note, telling them that you love them and appreciate them.
  2. Make a list of people for whom you hold anger, resentment, or feeling of hatred. Choose one person and practice Metta Bhavana with them. If you’ve never practiced Metta Bhavana before, it’s advisable to start with someone that you have minor issue with, until you get more comfortable with the practice.
  3. Reach out to people who might suffer from loneliness. They can be very popular in social media, but they might feel lonely all the same. Invite them over for a meal, or coffee. Don’t do it out of pity, only out of genuine love.

 

More Astrological Information This Week:

Evens of the week: New Moon in Cancer, Monday, July 17. Sun enters Leo & Venus starts retrograding, July 22.

Aspects if the week: Neptune trines sun, Pluto opposite sun

Dominant elements: earth and water

Missing element: air

More details:

  • Sunday, July 16, Sun in Cancer, moon in Cancer, Mercury and Venus in Leo, Mars in Virgo.
  • Monday, July 17 New Moon in Cancer.
  • Tuesday, July 18, moon enters Leo.
  • Thursday, July 20, moon enters Virgo.
  • Saturday, July 22, sun enters Leo, Venus starts retrograding.

 

Have a wonderful week,

With love,

Yael

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