Like every Saturday morning, we debated on where to hike. There was some stress since we were invited to a friend’s birthday in the afternoon. Adam suggested a river or a mountain, and Eden and I chose the river.

The traffic was jammed, and the drive took longer than expected. The parking lot smelled of horse poop. This was when we realized we had already done this hike and did not like it because it was a horse trail with horse poop all over it. Disappointed, we decided to take another trail nearby. The entrance was so shaded it was dark and a little spooky. Cobwebs covered my face with every step I took, which made me wonder why no one had taken this path for so long. Eden kept protesting that he did not like this path and wanted to go home. Usually, he is eager to take our hikes. His reluctance made me think there was something wrong with this place. We had no idea where this path led and if there would be anything worth seeing. But we had no time to find a new path, so we decided to continue, at least a little longer.

I felt this icky feeling of being in a place that wasn’t amazing. Somewhere, there was a better place where we could have enjoyed our hike much more. It’s this icky feeling that everyone is having a party somewhere, and you are not invited.

It made me think about some videos I watched about the Capricorn Full Moon we had on Friday. They all promised that this full moon was a gate, an opening, an incredible opportunity for an immense transformation. I thought about how this all sounded too familiar. For some people, every eclipse, full moon, new moon, or such is a glorious event that can change our lives. This approach is obviously attracting an audience. My approach of seeing cosmic events as opportunities for self-work is not as sexy. I started wondering why we need every cosmic event to be grand. Why do we constantly need life to be amazing, spectacular, and transformative?

“Maybe it’s not so bad that this trail isn’t amazing,” I thought. “Sometimes it’s good that things are just okay, mundane and ordinary.” With this new perspective, I looked around me and noticed the beauty of our surroundings. We were all by ourselves in a lush, well-shaded forest. The temperature was perfect; the scents were fresh and sweet, and cute little mushrooms were spread along the way.

This brought me to another conversation I had this week with a friend who was struggling. Even though he is challenged, he knows this challenge will get him to a better place. He understands that the most important thing for him right now is to learn to stay with the ickiness of his situation.

Cancer is a sign that teaches us about our emotions. The low road of Cancer is reacting emotionally to everything that happens to us. The high road of Cancer is staying with our emotions and letting them be without running away or trying to num them, change them, or fix them. It sounds simple, but it is one of the hardest things to do.

We seek amazing transformational gates to escape the harshness of our daily emotions. It gives us hope that the next cosmic event will finally take our pain and icky feelings away and that we will dance with everyone at that party we made up. It is much harder to stay with icky feelings and accept them as an integral part of our human condition.  

I see how my approach is not as exciting as the promise of transformative ecstasy. Still, the truth is that these grand promises leave us more frustrated as they don’t materialize. Then, we think the full moon enlightened everyone else, and we were left behind. It is less appealing to tell you cosmic events are opportunities for making peace with your icky feelings, but the people who have been working with me for years keep coming back because they know my approach works.

When I started to enjoy our hike and appreciate our path, I noticed the sounds of a nearby river. We walked towards it until we reached a wide, open, calm, and refreshing stream. Later, we found a cool swinging bridge that stretched over it. This hike ended up being amazing, after all, and I think it has something to do with my willingness to enjoy it, even if it was not.

This week of Cancer season, pay extra attention to your icky feelings and your tendency to escape them. Can you stay with them and let them be? I’d love to know your thoughts and feelings. Could you stay with your icky feelings? What was the effect of it?

Wishing you a wonderful ordinary week,

With love,

Yael