Working with your self-doubt effectively is not what you think.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been working on establishing my astrology school, and you’ll hear more about it soon. 

While I enthusiastically check tasks off my list, my mind sometimes wanders to the dark realm of “What if I am not good enough? What if I fail? What if I make this huge investment and nothing comes out of it?”

As soon as I become aware of these thoughts, my inner General Commander whistles. In her khaki uniform and a matching baseball hat, she speaks in a loud, confident voice, “You can do it. You are a fighter. You are the best. There is nothing you’ve ever wanted and did not manifest.” 

She is right, of course, or almost right. During my long night rituals of a hot shower and self-care, as I contemplate my day, I often feel I need to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming. I never thought I’d have such a great marriage, be so in love with my son, gain so much joy and fulfillment as a mother, or feel so fulfilled, passionate, and excited thanks to my work. Honestly, just 12 years ago, I did not even think it was possible to be so happy. 

But I still haven’t manifested my book and a six-figure business. “What if I am not good enough to manifest that?” Now, my cheerleader comes in with her athletic figure, a sky blue sports bra, a matching skirt, and yellow pom poms, “Yet. You haven’t manifested them yet. You are a late bloomer. But when you get things later in life, you hit the jackpot.” She reminds me of all my friends who got married and had children when I was still struggling with drugs and depression, many of whom ended up divorced.  

Do you also have these voices that give motivational speeches or cheer you up whenever your mind drifts into the doom-and-gloom zone? Working with my clients, I find that most of us, if not all, have these voices. 

 While cheering yourself up and motivating yourself is healthy and positive, doing so alone is counterproductive. There is a much healthier way to deal with your self-doubt, one that reduces the impact of discouraging thoughts.

Our “What if I am not good enough” and other negative thoughts represent our fears. They reinforce the worst-case scenarios of our lives. “I will never find love. I will never be successful. I will never have money. I will never be fulfilled.”

When the cheering and motivational voices appear, they push away the fears. They tell us that our worries are stupid, irrelevant, and complete nonsense. Untreated and unprocessed, these fears accumulate, grow, and keep bugging us. 

If we really want to diminish the fearful, discouraging voices and stop giving them power over us, we must face our fears. I can tell myself, “Maybe I won’t succeed. Maybe I will waste precious time and money and gain nothing.” This is a valid option, a real option. You might not find love, have a child, or find your purpose. 

When you face these fears and see them as concrete, they stop hovering over your head like a dark cloud. You see them for what they are – an optional reality, a worst-case scenario. 

When you see them as a valid option, they might not seem so terrifying anymore. The fears stop growing inside of you. “So I won’t succeed, so what? I have such a beautiful and happy life. I am so loved, and I am so in love.”

I can then open up my array of options. To every worst-case scenario, there is also a best-case scenario. What if I succeed beyond my dreams? It happened with my husband, son, work, and house; why wouldn’t it happen with my book and business? 

Then, I can see the endless potential realities that stretch between these two ends. There are so many options! My book might succeed overnight, but I will never reach the six-figure business. I might get a seven-figure business, but my book will fail. My book might become a best seller only twenty years from now. You might find the greatest love in human history when you are fifty. Or you might marry, have children, get divorced, and then find true love. 

It is unreasonable to think that the only probability is the worst-case scenario. Statistically, the chances of this scenario happening are one out of infinity; there isn’t even a number for that. 

This week opens with the full moon in Gemini, the sign of thoughts and mind. What we think repeatedly becomes our beliefs, ruled by Sagittarius. Gemini can look at all the optional scenarios, and Sagittarius brings optimism. But to be optimistic, you must see all the options as valid, even the worst-case ones. You look them in the eye and tell yourself – it might be, but I choose to believe otherwise. 

This week, work with your “what if” fears. Concretize them. Then, open up your options. Let me know how it worked for you. 

Wishing you a wonderful week,

Yael