What Do You Need to Want?
July 13, 2024
While scrolling through Instagram, an interview with Matthew Perry caught my attention. Perry talks about how, by playing Chandler Bing in the popular 90s TV sitcom Friends, he achieved everything he had ever dreamed of and discovered it was meaningless. The fame, the money, and the beautiful house with the pool did not make him happy; they didn’t solve his problems. He quoted Jim Carrey, who said: “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”
Perry’s touching interview made me contemplate my approach to wanting. If you have been reading me for a while, you know I am “the bad girl of spirituality,” telling you that desires are good and should be embraced. “Maybe I am wrong”, I asked myself. “Maybe wanting is bad, after all? Maybe the yoga teachers who tell us to be happy and content as we are, asking us to stop wanting more, have been right all along.”
It has been a busy week as I prepared for and taught the Find Your Life’s Purpose GPS summer workshop, so I had little time to contemplate. But Thursday night, I wrapped up work early and sat in my backyard. I watched the slender moon, the shining stars, and the occasional flickering lights of fireflies. I took a deep breath and felt a profound sense of contentment.
For years, I’ve been writing about my desire to be successful and the feeling that I was not as successful as I wanted. And here I was, at age 51, feeling that my hard work was bearing fruit, with explicit acknowledgment that I was on the right path. It does not mean my human experience is now perfect. Success came with a dose of pressure and sleepless nights, yet it brought me much joy and a sense of fulfillment.
All my accomplishments are full of meaning and purpose, and I would not be here if I had not wanted them and worked hard to achieve them.
So why didn’t it work for Matthew Perry? Perry was in his early twenties when Friends started. When we are young, we don’t have enough life experience to know what to want. Therefore, we want things that are not aligned with our emotional needs. Matthew Perry got what he wanted and saw that it did not make him happy. He concluded that wanting is pointless. But what if he did not want the right things for his emotional well-being?
Most of us experience a gap, or even a conflict, between our wants and needs. Our wants are represented by the Sun in our birth chart, while the Moon represents our needs. For most of us, the Sun and Moon are in different signs and houses. Matthew Perry had Sun in Leo and Moon in Scorpio. While his Sun wanted fame, his Moon needed privacy. His Moon needed him to transform the challenge of addiction that was imposed on him from childhood into empowerment. Towards the end of his days, Perry embodied this by writing a book that was aimed to help others who deal with addictions. He turned his wound into a powerful gift. The book was something he wanted that brought him a sense of purpose. Unfortunately, it still wasn’t enough to counter the immense pain he endured and to keep him alive.
A healthy growth process happens when we align our wants with our needs. This process takes time. We have to get it wrong repeatedly to get it right eventually. We want something, get it, discover it does not fulfill us, and learn something about ourselves. We fine-tune our desires. For example, when I was young, I sought a good-looking, intelligent, and successful man. As I matured, I learned that what I really wanted was a soul connection, and the rest was irrelevant.
The sign of Cancer is ruled by the Moon. Cancer season is a time to learn to identify and meet our emotional needs. This is a time to review what we want and ask ourselves if obtaining our desires will bring us emotional fulfillment and contentment.
My Moon in Capricorn is the reason why I need success to feel emotionally well. If you don’t know your emotional needs, you can get my Let Your Moon Glow Free PDF Booklet and learn more about your Moon and emotional needs.
This week, ask yourself these questions:
- Have I ever achieved my desires and discovered they did not make me happy? How did it shape my life?
- Do I also remember when reaching my goals provided a lasting joy and fulfillment?
- Do I know my emotional needs and how to meet them?
- Are my desires aligned with my emotional needs?
I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to leave your comments here.
Wishing you a wonderful week,
Yael
This Cancer season calls you to learn your emotional needs. Use astrology to tap into the wisdom of your Moon. Get the FREE PDF Booklet, Let Your Moon Glow, to learn how to nourish yourself and meet your emotional needs for a lasting sense of joy and contentment.
More Astrological Information This Week
Major aspects this week: Sun trine Saturn and Neptune, opposite Pluto.
Important Retrogrades: On July 16, we are entering the pre-shadow of Mercury Retrograde. The actual retrograde will start on August 5.
Details:
- Sunday, July 14, Sun in Cancer. Moon in Scorpio. Mercury and Venus in Leo. Mars in Taurus.
- Tuesday, July 16, Moon enters Sagittarius.
- Friday, July 19, Moon enters Capricorn.
- Saturday, July 20, Mars enters Gemini.
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