The Surprising Benefits of Your Hardships
October 26, 2024
“First COVID and now the hurricane,” a local friend told me when I called to check in on her. She referred to the amount of trauma her son, my son’s peer, has had to endure in only seven years of life.
“Hardship is good,” I told her without thinking. When I heard the silence on the other side, I worried my answer might have offended her. I wanted to explain myself, so I mentioned the Netflix show that inspired me to say that.
We tend to view hardship as terrible, unwanted, and undesirable, and we would do everything to escape it. But should we view it this way? Recently, I learned that hardship has many benefits, including promoting longevity!
One of my favorite Netflix shows, The Blue Zones, presents different places with a high concentration of people who live to a hundred. The show attempts to learn their ways of life and understand the main contributions to longevity. In Okinawa, Japan, it was not surprising that a plant-based diet, a sense of purpose, an active way of life, and community bonds were among the main longevity boosters. But then came a factor I would never have considered as a longevity promoter. Can you guess what it was?
Hardship!
The elderly of Okinawa went through World War II and the atomic bomb. According to the show, “A hardship-tempered attitude has endowed Okinawans with an affable smugness. They’re able to let difficult early years remain in the past while they enjoy today’s simple pleasures.”
This came as a shock. As a granddaughter of Holocaust survivors, I always thought hardship reduces longevity. But maybe this is just the story of my family. It is a fact that some Holocaust survivors are still alive today.
But the key is not in the hardship itself but in the attitude towards it.
My conversation with my friend helped me define how I wanted to deal with the hurricane and its impact. I aspired to teach my son a hardship-tempered attitude. Sometimes, having the right mindset is enough to make a difference. I didn’t do anything particular to teach my son, but the fact that I believed this hardship was valuable and made us stronger made the difference.
My son did not experience the hurricane as traumatic. One time, when we discussed how the hurricane took us all by surprise, he said, “Aren’t we lucky to experience something that happens only once in a thousand years?”
This realization about hardship sank even deeper as I homeschooled my son during the month of no school after the hurricane. When I gave him simple tasks, he strongly objected, claiming that what I asked of him was much harder than the work he had been doing at school.
Even before my son was born, I knew I would only want alternative education for him. I cared more about emotional development than academic achievements. I wanted him to be a great human being, not a competitive neurotic. I wanted his school years to be pleasant and fun. But witnessing my son’s reluctance to deal with challenges, I realized he wouldn’t develop this way. I started seeing the damaging effects of making learning so pleasant that it stopped being learning at all. Based on my life experience, growth requires some level of traction. In Hebrew, we have a saying that uses biking as a metaphor, “If it’s hard, you are going uphill.”
In my astrology practice, I’ve always used the approach that views challenges as a jumping board to success. However, outside of my practice, I still perceived challenges as something I should try to avoid at all costs. I wanted to make my life easy, comfortable, and cozy. I thought that here, in a town nestled in the Appalachian Mountains, surrounded by waterfalls, lakes, rivers, and forests, away from sirens, bombing, terror attacks, and constant war, life would be nice and easy. Reality reminded me that hardship is always a part of life, no matter where you are. I had to remind myself to adopt and embody the hardship-tempered attitude.
My favorite Buddhist practice, Tonglen, teaches us to inhale our difficulties and exhale healing to everyone who experiences them. It is believed that reversing our instinctual response to hardship is the key to happiness.
Scorpio is the sign of transformation through hardship. You’ll never know love until you fall in love, and never cultivate resilience until faced with a challenge.
This week, as we approach the new moon in Scorpio, contemplate the hardships and challenges you’ve gone through and the ones you go through right now. What is your attitude towards them? Do you view them as a curse or a blessing? Do you see them as your enemy or your friend? Do you see your challenges as teachers that help you become a better person, live longer, and make the world a better place, or as something you wish you never had to deal with? I’d love to hear what you think in the comments below.
Wishing you a wonderful week,
With love,
Yael
I was named an expert in an ApartmentGuide article.
When it comes to home decor, the concepts of minimalism and maximalism are two sides of the same coin. While minimalism champions simplicity and functionality, maximalism celebrates boldness and exuberance. The stars might offer some insight into your home style. Here’s how to decorate according to your zodiac sign and align your home with minimalism, maximalism, or a blend of both.
Read the full article here: Maximalist vs Minimalist: How to Decorate According to Your Zodiac Sign.| ApartmentGuide
More Astrological Information This Week
Event of the week: New Moon in Scorpio
Major Aspects: Pluto square Sun. Saturn trine Sun.
Dominant element: water
Details:
- Sunday, October 27: Sun and Mercury in Scorpio. Moon in Virgo. Venus in Sagittarius. Mars in Cancer.
- Tuesday, October 29: Moon enters Libra.
- Thursday, October 31: Moon enters Scorpio.
- Friday, November 1: New Moon in Scorpio.
- Saturday, November 2: Mercury enters Sagittarius.
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