This is the last full week of Scorpio season. On Tuesday next week, November 22^nd, the sun will enter Sagittarius.

We will start feeling the shift towards Sagittarius this week, as Venus and Mercury move from Scorpio to Sagittarius on Wednesday and Thursday.

Last night I was invited to a kirtan session that was held in a house of some beautiful souls. The room was filled with healers, musicians, and creators, who came to connect through singing and dancing. The community was grieving the death of a young soul. We sang and prayed for her.

At a certain point, I was asked to sing a Hebrew song. As a yoga teacher I used to chant Sanskrit to my students, but I’ve never sung Hebrew to new people who did not even know Hebrew. I was obviously nervous.

While singing I focused on the candle burning in the middle of the room in remembrance of the soul who passed away. All I wanted was to heal her, heal her family, heal the room, heal the world.

The highest road of Scorpio is to be a healer. For that, you need to go through darkness and get out of there. You need to have wounds and heal them. You need to know that pain is a part of life. That no matter how evolved you are, you can’t escape it.

The Tibetan Buddhist teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, talked about spiritual materialism. This refers to our belief that as spiritual seekers we can get enlightened and escape pain. But the truth is that we can’t.

“We should admit this infamous, familiar pain. This is the pain that is actually happening. We cannot say that it is just nothing.”

~ Chogyam Trungpa, The Lion’s Roar.

Sometimes I feel jealous at others and feel like they have figured it all out, while I do not. Sometimes I ask myself if I can give any value to others while I haven’t figured it all out.

The truth is that all the big teachers, the greatest inspirations, are in a constant process of healing themselves and figuring things out.

What makes someone a great inspiring teacher, therapist, healer, or astrologer, is not that they figured it all out. It’s the fact that they haven’t, and yet, they were able to make peace with their pain.

You might be super successful professionally, but you don’t know how to do relationships. You might be the master of relationships, but you don’t know how to make money. There will always be something you want and do not have.

Scorpio is all about wanting. The essence of Scorpio is desire.

So often we feel bad about what we want.

I recently started working with the Tiny Buddha journal, by Lori Deschene, which I highly recommend. One of the first journaling tasks in this book was to identify my greatest weaknesses and see how they could actually be strengths.

The first weakness that came to my mind was my constant hunger. I always want something that I don’t have. For years I wanted love. When I found love, I wanted a child, when I had a child, I wanted fulfillment, when I reached fulfillment, I want to publish a book. When I will publish a book, I would want to publish a bestseller.

This hunger always chases me. It never gives me a peace of mind. There is always the feeling of not having what I want. I always have an underlying feeling of discontent.

I felt this was such a horrible weakness, that it did not have any strength in it.

But then I realized that this hunger was what keeps me going. Without this hunger, I would not have done all the wonderful things that I have. I would not have had all my accomplishments and great experiences. I would not have been in the position of a healer.

The higher road of Scorpio is to want for the sake of healing.

There is nothing wrong about desires. I always tell it to my clients and my friends. But I myself did not notice how bad I felt about my own desires. This bad feeling was probably the one thing that has been blocking me from fulfilling them.

The most aware, conscious, and evolved people I know, always want something more.  

My second weakness was lack of trust.

In this new age, we are expected to trust that the universe has our back. That if we do our best and give everything we’ve got, then our desires will be met. If they won’t, something even better will come to us. This is the Sagittarius way.

I often think about the years when I was single. How hard it was to go through years of heartbreaks and disappointments. If only I knew that one day I would meet the love of my life, I could have enjoyed my single years so much more.

I’ve decided to trust that what happened to me with love, will happened to me with everything else in life. If it does not, at least I will enjoy these years and won’t waist them on worries and doubts.

But this feeling of trust can sometimes be used as an escape mechanism from pain. Lack of trust can be real. It shows us our pain and enables healing. We can only heal our pain when we acknowledge it.

This week ask yourself:

• What do I really want for myself? Can I be honest about it without feeling that my wants are not spiritual? Can I truly understand that my wants are my driving force that can take me where I want to go?
• Do I have any wounds or pain that need healing? How can I heal?
• Is there anyone else in my life that needs healing or support? How can I help?
• Do I use trust as an escape mechanism from pain? Can I acknowledge this pain and heal it?

Wishing you a wonderful week,

With love,

Yael