The Full Moon in Taurus, on Friday this week, asks us to balance our need to detach for stability and our need to embrace our emotional turmoil. Here is why and how to do it.

After my second divorce, I got back to seeing an alternative therapist named Sima, who I’d seen before my first marriage. For almost a year, I would go to her little rented clinic in a beautiful, white Bauhaus building and cry throughout the entire session.

It was not just the divorce I was grieving; my entire life was shattered. My belief system, which I constructed through reading endless occult and spiritual books, plant medicine, and meditation, exploded like a supernova – leaving me with a black hole and some stardust clouds. I was 33, and life seemed nothing like I imagined or wanted. Things seemed hopeless. I did not trust myself that I had the power to create the life I wanted. Life seemed to be working against me, unjust and unfair. I cried, and I cried, and I cried, and I could not stop crying during my sessions.

One time, I apologized to Sima for crying so much. She said that there was no need to apologize. She explained that I was crying because, for years, I had not allowed myself to cry. “When you never allow yourself to be sad, the sadness you reject turns into depression.” It made so much sense.

When my mother died when I was 18, I did not shed a tear. I was determined to be strong and not let the tragedy ruin my life. Since then, until my depression started and led to my second divorce and my second round of treatment with Sima, I chose to always look at the bright side of life. I always found the strength to move through any situation. I did not let anything take me down.

Whenever I feel terribly sad, I initially push my sadness away and keep working. We all have obligations we must meet, no matter our mood. When I need to teach students or meet clients, my emotional world is put aside, and I give them everything I’ve got. Similarly, when my son or husband needs me, I am there for them, no matter how I feel.

With that, I also learned a valuable lesson from my therapy with Sima. I remember that sometimes, the best thing to do is allow myself to be washed with sadness, despair, and hopelessness. I go to bed in the middle of the day and sleep for a few hours. I don’t try to fake a smile or see the beauty around me. I embrace my grumpiness wholeheartedly without trying to change it or fix it.

It is scary to be in this place. It feels like I am sinking into a black hole. I fear I will never be able to get out of it, never see the beauty around me, and never feel cheerful again. But then I remind myself that this is nonsense. Everything changes, especially my mood. I allow myself to fall as Alice falls into the deep, dark hole, not knowing when she will be able to rest her feet on the ground again.

These hours of sadness are dark and scary. Scorpio’s mastery is allowing ourselves to be in these black holes. Scorpio’s power helps us trust that we are strong enough to withstand them and know that we will emerge even stronger. Scorpio teaches us to embrace our sadness and hopelessness, go through the black hole, and come out shining like a new bright star.

This week, the full moon is in Taurus, the sign of stability. Emotional stability can only be achieved through detachment. We all need to learn to be detached to some extent to function well even when we feel hopeless. But if we only detach and don’t allow ourselves to feel our pain, we most likely eventually get depressed.

We also tend to believe our reality is stable, so when we feel grief, sadness, and hopelessness, we tend to think we will never come out of it. Then, we try to do everything to push them away, but doing so is counterproductive.

Whenever I am sad, I remember my lesson and surrender. When I do that, I usually wake up the following day feeling joyful again, ready to delight in my little Taurus pleasures.

This week leading to the Full Moon in Taurus is an excellent opportunity to reflect on how you respond to sadness and hopelessness. Do you allow yourself to immerse in them or push them away? Can you immerse in sorrow but also put it aside when performing your daily responsibilities? Can you find your middle path between diving deep into the darkness of Scorpio and staying detached to maintain stability like a Taurus?  

Wishing you a wonderful week,

With love,

Yael