In my first astrology reading with my teacher, Debra Silverman, she said, “You are very responsible.” I looked at her with disbelief. Me? Responsible?

At the age of forty, I had no property, no savings, no plans, no frozen eggs. I was traveling around the world, spending every penny I had on studying yoga and practicing meditation.

But Debra did not give up. Her wise, compassionate, and confident look reminded me. When my mom died, I was eighteen years old. I took care of my little brothers as if they were my children. While my friends traveled and partied, I bought food, cooked meals, comforted my brothers and cleaned their mourning vomit. Later, I acquired a B.A in economics and accounting, so that I would always have a financial safety net. In recent years I cared about my diet, my health and my body.

“There was a period of time where you needed a little vacation from being so responsible, you needed it,” Debra added. It was a huge revelation. In a flash, I got a whole new perspective on my life story. I could connect with my serious, grounded, responsible side. Even more, I fell in love with this part of me. I appreciated it. I stopped running away from it. It became my grounding Earth.

During my yoga studies I learned about the principle of the elements. I studied a little Ayurveda and learned that I was Pitta Vata – fire and air. It was clear to me that I knew exactly who I was.

People of fire and air are dynamic, energetic people, in need of constant stimulation and movement. When I studied astrology I was amazed to discover that I was actually a person of air and water – spiritual, prone to changing moods and melancholy, needs social connections but also times of solitude and very sensitive.

It took me a while to internalize it, it was a process. But once I did, it felt so comfortable to be in my own skin. I did not have to try to be fiery anymore. I could allow myself to be sensitive and emotional without feeling that something was wrong – it was a strong part of my constitution.

When we try to be different than who we really are, we spend so much energy. Being someone else does not come naturally. The only natural way for one is being oneself. Only when I learned to be myself, I could utilize my energies for creation, evolution, learning and growing.