I’m not the wife I want to be. I’m not the mother I want to be. Too often I get upset, sometimes I lose it, sometimes over nonsense. 

I’m not as content as I want to be. Since we bought our lovely home in Asheville, I keep searching for a house that might have suited us better.

At the end of the day, I experience lots of pain. Pain for not being the calm, loving, accepting, content woman I’d like to be. This pain creates frustration and anger that lead to more pain. It is an endless vicious cycle.

My first reaction is to run away from this pain, to think of something positive or optimistic. But I’ve learned that escaping the pain is counterproductive. I ask myself to feel the pain. It is not easy. It is a sharp, piercing pain. I know that only if I pass through this pain, only if I fully experience it, I will I be able to break the cycle.

What will happen then? I still don’t know. Hope I can tell you sometime soon.

 This is Scorpio Season, a time to speak the deepest, most painful truth, to bring meaning into our lives. These insights are the result of the work I did this week. Please share the ways you found to bring more meaning into your life.