This week starts with a full moon in Aries, on Sunday, October 9!

The dialogue between the sun in Libra and the moon in Aries is something we all deal with daily. Aries is the masculine, individualist, spontaneous and charismatic side in us. Libra is the feminine, charming, gentle, harmonious energy in us.

When I say that Aries is an individualist, it does not mean that Aries is not built for relationships. The truth is, Aries people are sometimes better in relationships than Libras. Why? Because they know to put themselves first. They are authentic to a fault. They don’t know to be any other way.

The pleasing quality of Libra is wonderful when it meets a similar energy. One of my clients knew she was a pleaser, but her husband was also a pleaser, so it worked well for them. They loved to please each other, and they were careful not to exploit the other’s tendency to please, because they were so familiar with it.

But when pleasing energy meets a dominant energy, it can be a problem. Libra can compromise herself for the sake of the relationship. She can give up her needs to meet the other person needs, out of fear of losing the other. Then one day she might ask herself – what has happened to me? Where am I in this relationship? She can notice that the new version of herself is not authentic. Then she gets up and leave.

It’s not that Aries is perfect in relationships. Aries tends to do things without checking with the other person first. She is spontaneous and does not have time to wait for approvals. She can do things her way, even when she knows it causes discomfort for the other person. At worst it can be the “my way or the highway” personality.

My husband and I are in a process of constant learning of how to navigate our relationship. Even after eight years of marriage, we are still trying to understand how to meet the other person’s needs, without compromising ourselves. It is a lifetime journey.

Just yesterday we had a fight. During the week, some things came up and opened some wounds for both of us. My response is to take a step back, focus on my work, and give myself time to process. My husband’s response is to face an issue head on and resolve it.

There is no right or wrong here. We are two different people who deal with things in a different way. Identifying the gap is the first step to resolving it. Usually, I would feel that I am a horrible partner for behaving the way I do when we have tensions going on between us. But yesterday I realized that there is nothing wrong with me. There is just something different than him.

When I could show up, be in my Aries energy and tell my husband that my way is not bad, it is just mine and different from his, he could relate to me more. He could see that our relationship was as important to me as it was for him.

His needs were met just by me allowing myself to be myself without feeling guilty about how I behave.

If I would have accommodated his need to talk about things when I was not ready, I would have compromised myself. His needs might have been met, but I would have felt that mine were not.

Even if you are not in a romantic relationship, you still have to deal with this Aries Libra dialogue in your relationships with friends, family, and coworkers. This dialogue is a part of being in relationships with others.

Yesterday I talked with my friend about Cave in The Snow, a book about Tenzin Palmo, a British woman who became a renowned Tibetan Buddhist teacher. The book tells her amazing story, which includes three years of meditating in a cave in the Himalayas. I told my friend that before I met my husband, there was a part of me that wanted to do something similar.

Today I understand that my path is not to grow through sitting in a cave. My path is to grow through my relationships with others. Every day I learn something new about life, about myself, about the human condition, through my relationships.

Every day I have an opportunity to bring more compassion to who I am, with all my quirks. I don’t even want to call them faults because I don’t judge them anymore.

On This full moon:

• Try to find the relationships and places where you might compromise your authenticity for the sake of your relationships, due to fear of losing the other. Try to see how you can bring more authenticity to these relationships.
• Check for places where you might be inconsiderate of your loved ones and see how you can find the middle path of meeting their needs, without compromising yours. Sometimes, just seeing things for what they are, and expressing the gap, can be the resolution.

This week is going to be very airy, with five to six planets in air signs. Enjoy great communication with others, great creativity, and more flexibility in your life, but make sure you keep your feet on the ground, so that the wind won’t carry you away.

Have a wonderful week,

With love,

Yael