“I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place
Even your emotions have an echo in so much space.”

~ Crazy, a Song by Gnarls Barkley

I have a confession to make. Even though I consider myself sane and am proud of my sanity, some aspects of me are completely insane.

My sanity is reflected in healthy relationships, knowing to set healthy boundaries, doing what I am passionate about, helping others love themselves, and balancing spirituality and practicality well.

And my insanity? Very few people know that I have serious self-esteem issues regarding my physical appearance. Even though, as a child, I was as thin as a rake, I was sure that my thighs were too fat, and I was embarrassed to wear shorts. To this day, I weigh myself every morning and am never happy about my weight. While most people would agree that I am rather skinny, I always want to be slimmer than I am. Until very recently, I used to fight my imaginary overweight self and impose severe dietary restrictions on myself to reach the holy grail of my aspired figure.

“You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin.”  I cried when I watched America Ferreras’s iconic Barbie speech because it affirmed that I was not alone in my craziness.  

Alone or not, I am fully aware that this eternal desire to be thinner is completely insane, and I can assure you it is not the only crazy part of me.

Cancer rules the emotional world. Emotions are kind of crazy. Being in love is madness. Longing is torture. Joy can be ridiculous. Anger and hatred are agonizing.

Sanity is about having control. Craziness is about having none. We have no control over our emotions. All we can control is our reaction to them; this is where sanity must kick in.

Recently, I took a workshop with my yoga teacher, Gota Cebrero, where I learned about the yin and yang symbol. The magic of this powerful symbol truly lies in the black dot in the white part and the white dot in the black part. Our sanity needs a little craziness. Having some craziness is what holds our sanity together. If we try to control our emotions or eliminate our craziness, we will lose the black dot in the white part, and the white part will be lost – we will lose our sanity.

In the 90s, I danced to the sounds of Seal’s song, “We’re never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy.” I knew he was right, but I never understood it so profoundly until now.

Cancer season encourages us to celebrate our craziness, especially when it feels like the world has gone mad and nothing makes sense anymore. We can only bring more truth, be more authentic, and express ourselves with no shame or guilt.

Part of the magic of astrology readings is that through the stars, we get to be seen for who we are, with all our craziness, and to feel loved exactly as we are.

Being crazy is fun, and allowing ourselves to be crazy is liberating. We do not need to pretend that we are sane anymore. The controversial Buddhist teacher Chögyam Trungpa coined the concept “crazy wisdom” and described it as “an innocent state of mind with the quality of early morning—fresh, sparkling, and completely awake.” I appreciate the wisdom of his teachings, but I do not accept how he exploited his power over his students.

Craziness can be dangerous. It should be the little dot of yin inside the yang. When it takes over, things get out of hand, which is why we are so afraid of our craziness, trying to hide and suppress it. It is essential to remember that we can’t control our inward craziness, but we can choose how we act. Embracing our craziness does not mean acting on it.

The more we love the crazy parts of ourselves, the less they trigger us.  I am still never happy with my weight, but I no longer starve myself to be skinnier because I know this is dumb and does not serve me.

Cancer season is a good time to connect with your sanity and craziness. What proves your sanity, and what indicates your craziness? Do you appreciate both parts of yourself? Do you see how your craziness is an essential part of your sanity? I’d love to hear your crazy stories. What is it that makes you feel crazy?

Wishing you a wonderful week,

With love,

Yael