Not all my relationships are balanced. I am still sometimes afraid to say what I want, be too demanding, or put pressure on others. This Full Moon in Libra calls us to balance our relationships by stating our needs and allowing others to accommodate them. 

“Of course, I will be there,” I texted my best friend when she shared the link to her upcoming workshop. And then I stopped to consider it for a second. I’ve always been a cheerleader to my friends. I love supporting and encouraging them. But the truth is, I don’t always get the same amount of encouragement and support in return.

“I’ll take your workshop if you take mine,” I wrote. I felt stupid, petty, and pathetic. Is this how I manage my relationships? Do I only give if I receive? Do I need to constantly maintain a balance and do the accounting required to avoid violating this balance?

I don’t, but I should, I told myself. My best friend was slightly surprised by my somewhat assertive, demanding response. It was strange to her because it was new. I used to always be there without any questions or demands.

It started this way when I had my financial career. I used to get my fat W2s and did not need anyone to support my career or promote me. My solid income allowed me to help my self-employed friends. But then, when I became self-employed and needed support, I was disappointed that I did not get it.

This imbalance was extreme with an old friend. Recently, she messaged me asking me to promote her event. I felt so much rage bubbling up in me. “What has she ever done for me? She never promoted my services or events, even when I gave her my services for free. Why should I support her?”

But my best friend is my best friend. She feels me, knows me, and understands me. She jumped in and said she would love to attend my next webinar. And so she did. Her presence there and her heartwarming feedback – You were amazing! You have such great energy! I was fascinated and inspired! – made me feel empowered, supported, and loved.

All I had to do was ask. It felt awkward, but it was a simple and modest request after years of tremendously supporting my best friend. 

In a reading I had last week, my client expressed wanting to spend more time with her partner. She was afraid to share her desire with him, as she felt it might pressure him. She was afraid that he might agree to spend more time with her but resent her for that. 

Stating what you need from another person might put pressure on them. My best friend is a single mother and runs her own business. Asking her to spend an hour and a half on a webinar that would not interest her if I was not teaching it was a big request. 

But if we continually avoid putting pressure on others, we put pressure on ourselves instead. We minimize ourselves by the imbalance of our relationship, where the other person is happy and content, but our needs aren’t met. 

A healthy relationship must be balanced. The needs and wants of both people have to be acknowledged and considered. If you don’t even say what you want or need, the other person does not know they don’t meet your needs. You accumulate resentment and anger toward them, and that ruins the relationship. 

Reflecting on what happened with my old friend, I can see that it was my fault not to ask, even demand, that she support me. I did not give her a chance. But because the imbalance was so significant and lasted for such a long time, this friendship was a lost cause, and I had to let it go. 

Even today, I still have imbalanced friendships. I am learning to be more honest and authentic. I still tend to say, “It’s okay. You do what’s right for you. I love you no matter what,” even when I am hurt, even when it’s not reciprocal. 

This is the conversation of this Libra Full Moon. Aries is the side of you that knows what it wants and does not have a problem saying it, asking it, or demanding it. Libra is the side that is afraid to ask for too much, put pressure on others, or be demanding because it wants others to be happy, which is great as long as it does not come at the expense of your own happiness. 

To have a balanced, healthy relationship, you must always acknowledge what you want and need and share it with the other person. Allow them to accommodate your needs and wants, or at least find a healthy balance between what works for them and what works for you. 

This Full Moon is a time to access the high road of Aries and Libra – be open and honest and say what you genuinely need to bring a healthy balance into your relationship. Are you ready to do that? Please don’t forget to share your experience. 

Happy Full Moon and happy Passover to those who celebrate, 

Much love,

Yael