In 2005, I was going through my second divorce. I was dealing with a deep depression, but I did not let anyone know. I went on with my life, showing everyone how happy and well I was. One evening, at a rooftop party, I met an old friend I had dated for a while before I married. He wanted to give us another chance and invited me to join him for a weekend in London, where he lived.

As I accepted his offer, I started fantasizing about the romantic time we would spend together, walking hugged in the streets of London. My disappointment started as soon as I arrived at his place. I found he was busy working and barely had time to hang out with me. When we spent time together, we were in completely different vibes.

The weather was surprisingly warm and sunny. Everyone was outside, cheering with big pints of beer, singing, and chatting joyfully. I tried to enjoy my time alone, wandering around, but the annoying lump in my throat did not let me forget how I truly felt.

On my last night, my host and I went to a party. He introduced me to some of his friends with whom I instantly connected. One of them was a handsome guy who liked me and read between the lines that I was unhappy with his friend. He tried his luck and invited me to his place after the party. I was so upset with my friend and wanted to experience something worthy on this disappointing trip, so I accepted his offer.

It was a hot summer night. My suitor’s apartment had no AC, and the air was thick and heavy. As we rested naked in his bed, catching our breaths, a pleasant breeze surprised us with its coolness and freshness. It was one of these divine moments that came with a strong epiphany. I felt that the cool breeze was whispering in my ear: ENOUGH.

When I returned to my host’s house, a mischievous smile could not be withheld as I told him I’d just slept with his friend. But as I kept my distance from him in his bed that we shared, I knew that I did not want to keep having all this DRAMA in my life anymore. Enough.

This was the end of the extreme Leo episode in my life. It was lustful, wild, passionate, and dramatic. It caused me a lot of suffering, but it also created stories I can write about today. When I returned home and started rebuilding my life, I slowly and gradually stepped out of my drama and moved towards Aquarius.

My life became more about learning, teaching, meditating, healing, fighting for justice, and being in service. When I found meaning and purpose in my life, romance was still important, but it was not the only thing that mattered. My life still involved lust and heartbreaks, but I was gradually less devastated when things didn’t work out as I expected.

Now, you can also take Aquarius too far. You can be so detached and aloof that life becomes a flat line. When I returned from London and shared my stories with a good friend, he told me I was lucky. “I’ve never fallen in love, never had my heart broken, never fantasized about romance, and never got disappointed. You, you live like in the movies,” he added, and I could not help but smile broadly in agreement.

Today, after being happily married for ten years, my life is still passionate and exciting. My husband and I can certainly be overdramatic in our fights sometimes, and even though I wouldn’t say I like it, I prefer it to a life of partnership without lust.

On Monday this week, we celebrate the Aquarius Full Moon and are asked to find the middle path between Leo and Aquarius. A life with too much romance, passion, lust, and drama is a recipe for suffering. But without any of it, we risk losing our lust for life. We can feel detached, cold, and bored. We might consume lust and drama through TV, social media, and books, living life through other people’s stories.

This week, ask yourself where you find yourself between these two ends. Does lust rule your life and cause suffering? Is it completely absent, or are you just where you need to be with it? If you don’t feel enough passion, drama, lust, or romance, it might be time to ignite your fire. You can do it with physical exercise, being bold, and adding fun and romantic activities to your life. If you feel too much lust and drama in your life, maybe it’s time to cool it off with some meditation and observation. Or perhaps you need to find meaning in other aspects of your life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Wishing you a wonderful week,

With love,

Yael